Is BDSM Dangerous? The mainstream media depict BDSM as something highly dangerous. You see people with mascara-stricken faces with tears in their eyes. The emphasis is on latex, leather hoods, cuffs, whips, clamps. And yet, I don’t see BDSM as strictly dangerous. You seek limits, sure, so you might get …
Silence I come from a family of non-talkers, on both sides actually. We would talk about our day. We would talk about the music we liked, the movies we watched, where to go on vacation. But don’t you dare talk about your inner life. We didn’t share our ailments, our …
Power + Trust + Fun The general idea people have of BDSM is that it’s dark, leather, and whips. That’s what you see in the media, for example in a crime show like CSI and Criminal Minds. Also, in Fifty Shades of Grey, the depiction of BDSM is quite dark …
Degrading, Normal or Kinky This is a tough subject for me. I don’t always recognize what is humiliating and what isn’t. After all, it’s a complex emotion, and with how I’ve been raised, I don’t know exactly which things are considered to be ‘normal’ or ‘regular kinky’ and which aren’t. …
A New World First of all: congratulations! This is an exciting new part of yourself you’re about to explore. You may find that many of the BDSM power relation dynamics are already in your life. You’re already acting in a submissive way to your partner, but you never realized it …
When I Grow Up I have this one family member who, according to the stories, had only one dream of what she wanted to do when she grew up. She wanted to be a teacher. So that’s what she studied. After her studies, she worked as a teacher for many …
ASMR A couple years back, I was searching online for ways how to structure a diary with blank pages. I came across one tutorial which explained everything that I had in mind. But the weird thing was, the girl explained it all using this strange whispery voice. For the life …
All Mistakes are Evil Mistakes and I aren’t the best of friends. I was raised with the concept that all mistakes are wrong, and should be avoided at all cost. I remember taking dictation in primary school and writing ‘professor’ with two ‘f’s. The spelling is the same in Dutch …
Pantser All the Way I’m a pantser by heart. Ever since I started to write fiction, I just dove in and wrote the story to my heart’s content. I let my characters show me the story. For the longest time, this worked perfectly. Until I decided to write a whodunnit …
Lack of Confidence When I sat down to write an article about this topic, I came to one overarching fear: Fear of Failure. Yes, with capital letters. However, when I wrote the outline, the subject changed to something else, something even broader. What holds me back most in life, is …
