When I Grow Up
I have this one family member who, according to the stories, had only one dream of what she wanted to do when she grew up. She wanted to be a teacher. So that’s what she studied. After her studies, she worked as a teacher for many years, before changing to remedial teaching. It’s all she’s ever done.
Suffice it to say: I wasn’t like that. I’ve had many plans and ideas. I sometimes wish I could have been as stand-fast as my family member.
Instead of one dream, as a kid, I had many dreams of what I wanted to be when I grew up. Many of these ideas were inspired by the books I read.
I remember saying I wanted to be a ‘baker,’ which has nothing to do with baking bread but is an Old-Dutch term for ‘midwife.’ That particular idea came after reading the Dutch book ‘Ot en Sien.’
Once I said I wanted to work the cash register at Aldi. Back then, the employees had to memorize all the product codes. I observed that and found it intriguing.
Some other occupations I wanted were ballet-dancer, also inspired by a book, and cleaner. Trust me, I’m unsuitable for both.
In my teenage years, my ideas became slightly more practical.
I’ve wanted to work in administration because I thought it’d be fun to fill out forms all day.
I wanted to do an education focusing on publishing and media, before deciding to go the university and studying Psychology. While studying Psychology, I switched from wanting to work with children to neuropsychology. But before I could specialize, I quit those studies.
I went on to study English Language and Culture. I had no real purpose for it, except that I had a knack for learning languages. While there, I dreamt of a career as an academic. Due to circumstances in my life, I quit these studies too.
Do you know what I omitted in this recounting? For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that I was going to be a writer. I’m not sure if I really told anyone or kept it to myself. I’ve always written stories, I kept a journal for many years, and it comes naturally to me to express myself in words.
My problem is that I have no idea how to turn this ability of mine into a viable career. I’ve never had a clear picture of how I wanted this to turn out. My only idea has always been: I’ll write.
I’ve never seen myself work for a mainstream publisher writing literature. And I’ve tried self-publishing fiction, but that didn’t really work for me either.
Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
So no what? Well, I realized the company I write reviews for about sex toys, enjoy my work, so why not expand on that? And this blogging thing is more fun than I expected, so I’ll keep this going too. I never realized I could write non-fiction.
And what about making money? I don’t know. I’m racking my brain over it every day, and I have not yet found a solution. My husband is still convinced one day I’ll write a bestseller, and with the profits, we can buy a castle in Germany and retire there and live happily ever after. So yeah, maybe I should get back to writing books. It would have been nice if the life-long aspiration came with a series of steps to follow to reach your goal. Unfortunately, real life doesn’t always work that way. So I guess I’ll just have to search and stumble for a little while longer and see for myself what I can uncover. Like my family member, I too have a dream occupation, now to shape it into a career.