Keep it Simple
In our house, my husband is the one who says ‘I love you,’ sometimes up to ten times a day. I only get so far as ‘love you too,’ in response.
Please don’t come home with flowers, since that’s only going to pose a danger to my cats. They could be allergic or knock over the vase. A box of chocolates is better, but often I forget I received them, only to throw them away two years later. Take me out for dinner? Sure, but nothing fancy, please. I prefer a simple hamburger place. So what is my relationship to romance? Do I see myself as aromantic, or am I maybe just too down to earth to deal with romantic gestures?
My One Grand Gesture
One hundred reasons why I love you. For my ex-boyfriend I made a small photo album with little pictures on each page and an accompanying line with a reason why I loved him, and that times hundred. I think that’s the only time in my life when I have done something romantic. Your best guess to catch me in a sentimental mood is when I am new to the relationship. At that time, I’m softer, still love-struck, and willing to go the extra mile.
The boyfriend for whom I made that photo album didn’t appreciate the gift. He thought it was ‘nice,’ in the worst possible interpretation of that phrase. Basically, he couldn’t care less.
Growing older, I see less and less need for being romantic. I like to see myself as a kind partner, considerate too, and apart from my emotional outbreaks, I’m an okay companion. But after ten years of being together, why would I still need to infuse romance into my relationship? Take yesterday. We were home all day, and I asked after dinner: “So at what time do you want to do the spanking?”
I guess that’s not romantic. I could have dressed up, gone upstairs, gotten the paddle and handed it to my Master in the appropriate way, but the way I did it was more convenient. My husband was busy doing research for a project, and I don’t want to impose. So this was a more straightforward way to getting what I needed.
I’m not aromantic. After Melody’s insightful post, I wondered about this for a little while, but I decided I’m not. I do fall in love. I often have crushes on men. It could be a rockstar, it could be an actor, it could be the mailman. I get tingles in my stomach, and it often inspires me to write great erotic stories.
I think I’m too practical and down to earth for romance and maybe even disillusioned. Why add all the fluff of flowers and different clothes, when you can reach the same effect without these shenanigans?
That’s not to say I don’t feel guilty at times about my lack of romance. My husband is good to me, and I do feel he deserves more appreciation than what I tend to give. But he knows I love him. I do make his food and take care of his house, somewhat. He knows how to read me, and he knows I’m not as cold as I sometimes seem to be. And he sometimes makes fun of my cold approach. But, regardless, the spanking last night was perfect. And isn’t submission a form of romance in itself?