Afbeelding van Gerd Altmann via Pixabay
Picture by Gerd Altmann via Pixabay 

I love oral sex, both giving and receiving. I’m also a sexual submissive. Does that come into play at all? Am I of the opinion all the blowjobs I give should come from a submissive mindset? Should my husband even go down at me at all? Does that make him any less of a Dominant? Many people within the BDSM community will tell you this is the case. What is my opinion? And why do I hold this opinion?

Love

I love giving blowjobs. I’ve given them to every lover I have had. I can remember how I would spend hours between my first serious lover’s knees. Thinking back, I can hardly imagine I had that stamina. I was eighteen/nineteen years old at the time and in a better physical condition than I am today. I love the intimacy and the power of control it gives me. Through every small move I make, I bring pleasure. That’s definitely exhilarating. So yes, without the accompanying jaw-cramps, I’m definitely a fan.

Reciprocity

The ratio between giving and receiving oral sex doesn’t have to be one on one. I do like it when there is some reciprocity overall. I’ve been in a relationship where my then partner would not go down at me at all, and it did make me sour. I did it for him, so why wouldn’t he return the favour? There was more wrong, sexually, between us.
My husband loves cunnilingus. He has gone down on me thousand times more often than me on him. He loves how I taste, and he enjoys bringing me pleasure and orgasms. So luckily, I have nothing to complain about this in our marriage.

BDSM

Do I see my husband as any less of a Dominant because of his love for licking me? No, not at all. I go down on him during play, and he might go down on me. I don’t see it as anything submissive on his part. My man is anything but submissive. And even a sweet licking can be used as torture if needs be. It all depends on the circumstances.

A Sexual Act

How is giving oral sex any different than fingering or even intercourse? Is it because of the position you’re in during the act? If that’s what you’re worried about, then your D/s is based on the wrong things. Your dominance should be able to shine through all acts. Just one look should be enough to guide your submissive to the position you want him or her in. And no, if you’re setting up a new D/s relationship or you’re not entirely secure in your Dominant position, then oral sex might not be the best thing for you. But once you’re settled into your relationship, it’s perfectly possible to put it on the menu for now and then. The one giving oral sex is in control.

Try It

I don’t think giving oral sex is for everyone. I do believe everyone has to try it at least once before they decide they do or do not like it. Pay heed to the pleasure you bring, the amount of control it gives you. And yes, a dominant too can provide oral pleasure. It doesn’t have to be a submissive act at all. And trust me, your partner will appreciate you for it, and your relationship will last longer.