Tell Me About – Kink

Picture of whips

Copyright Liz BlackX
Part of my collection of whips

Kink is essential in my life, in every part of it. Ever since I first came across it as a teenager, I knew this was a part of me. I have never been ashamed of being into BDSM. It’s just part of who I am. That doesn’t mean it was easy to give kink a central place in my life. On more than one occasion, I’ve tried to hide it, pretend it didn’t exist. But it always came back. Right now, I can safely say kink is part of my life, every little detail of it.

Kinky Writing

First of all, it’s the driving force behind my writing. All my fiction writing contains BDSM in one form or another. Even in the occasional vanilla piece I write, you can often tell the dimensions between the characters are still D/s. I’m also convinced that should be the case in every story. There has to be an inequality between characters to create conflict and for it to be an interesting story.
When I wasn’t in an active D/s myself, I used my stories to live out fantasies. I would only write what turned me on with little regard to whether it was possible or even desirable. It did make for hot stories, though.

Kinky Friends

Secondly, I connect with my friends over kink. I had never imagined this could be so important to me. But because kink is an essential part of me, not being able to talk about it made every other relationship shallow. Now that I met openly kinky friends, I can share my true self with them. And no, we’re not play partners. But being able to drink tea together and still discuss the cute new whip you acquired gives me a sense of freedom I never knew I missed. I don’t have to be careful about my words, giving away by accident my husband spanked me the night before. Kinky people will shrug and ask if we enjoyed it. Regular people would call the police. This sense of freedom is fantastic, and I hope to never lose it again.

Kinky Marriage

Thirdly, my marriage is based on kink. My husband and I met each other on a BDSM dating site. It was clear from the start I would be his submissive. Especially in the first few months, we did a lot of intense BDSM play. Through the past eleven years, this has evolved into a steady 24/7 D/s bond. It’s not always easy. Regular life often takes over our minds. We have to work hard to keep BDSM on the agenda, but it’s always present between the two of us. And we’re often on the same page.
I couldn’t imagine being married to someone who’s not kinky. Being the submissive in a household isn’t always fun or easy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


Kink is an essential part of my life, of my entire being. It serves as constant inspiration for my stories. I bond over it with my friends. And without kink, my husband and I wouldn’t be together. It’s too much entwined within each of us. Now that I fully accepted it into all corners of my life, I feel the most ‘me’ I have ever felt. Before, when I worked in retail, I tried my utmost to hide it from the world. I didn’t want to be seen as easy prey. I hid my true sense from everyone; that’s why I never connected with my colleagues. Life is better now that’s it’s out in the open. I hope kink will always remain part of my life.


One Comment

  1. I love the way that you end this post by saying that embracing your kink has allowed you to be your true and authentic self. I can relate to all of the areas you include here as being significant to the way you can express and be yourself. Great post. Thank you 🙂

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