Service Submission

This is how I would like to see myself, but it’s not the way it is ?

I’ve always seen myself as an impatient and quite lazy person. Submissive too, yes, but not the easiest and most pliable one. My submissive dreams weren’t about serving men tea and coffee. In my wildest dreams, I serve men with my body, but with little choice or input of my own. That’s not congruent with the vision of a service submissive, in my mind. But it is that really the case for me?

Serve Me

In my day to day life, I prefer to be served. And no, not in a D/s kinda way, but in the ‘I’d rather not get up and make coffee myself’ kind of way. I despise everything having to do with household chores, whether it’s cleaning, preparing dinner or doing the laundry. So, out of myself, there’s little desire to be of service to anyone.

Customer Service

Looking back to my years in retail, I always found myself in a customer service role within three weeks of starting a new job. I mean operating the literal customer service desk to handle the most difficult of questions (and people). Whenever something intricate needed to be solved, they would call me for assistance, in case the managers were unavailable. Now, I didn’t give service with a smile. I smiled very little while working in those stores, but I was definitely customer- and service-oriented.

Service-Related Tasks

In my current BDSM-life, where we do call our relationship 24/7, I’m doing the most service-related tasks. It’s my job to bring my husband tea, to make sure there’s coffee, to prepare his breakfast in the morning and cook his dinner at night. Some of these tasks are what would have been present in a regular marriage too, but especially the tea-task is pretty D/s. My husband doesn’t always acknowledge it when I bring him his new beverage. Whether I like it or not, that does give me a slight tingle of submission.

Enjoying Serving

During one of the last weeks before the lockdown, we had friends over for dinner. They were kinky friends, a dominant and her submissive. They stayed over for dinner, and it was my task to supply them with drinks and snacks throughout the day. We hadn’t discussed this or anything, but it’s something my husband loathes doing. And the weirdest thing was since both these guests acknowledged my submission to my husband, I felt at ease in my role. I was getting close to enjoying myself in my part as a service submissive. It was indeed an eye-opener and one that I still haven’t fully come to grips with.


So service is definitely a thread throughout my life. It’s not a topic I enjoy, it doesn’t fill my heart with joy thinking about it, but I think I may be closer to a service submissive than I would like to admit. It comes quite natural to me. Now that we’re having guests over on a more regular basis, at least before the lockdown, I think I’m getting the hang of serving them properly. Where before I hardly knew what to do, my first question is now: would you like something to drink? So you see, we live and learn, even about ourselves.



  1. I can relate to not feeling like service is at the core of your submission and I would feel the same. It has helped me to be able to see some of the things I do for HL as acts of service though as that means that I take more pride in them. An interesting post so thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. Service wasn’t something I was good or enjoyed at in the beginning either. I’m excited to get to serve in my own home to our kinky friends though. I haven’t been given the opportunity yet. It’s great that you have people in your life that you can be free with 🙂

    1. It’s indeed very special to have finally met kinky friends and to share such experiences with them, even if only for a shared meal ?

  3. Thank you for sharing with Tell Me About.

    Being a good hostess is something I that has been hammered into me my whole life. I’d never thought that this could be seen as part of my submission too but I see by reading your post it can be.

    Thank you for writing this it’s definitely made me think!

    Take care,

    Sweet x

    1. Since I wasn’t living with my mother when I was a teenager, who definitely knew these things, I was never taught the proper way to behave around guests. My father never cared that much for these things. So it’s a steep learning curve now, but I do think it’s an essential life lesson. I’m getting there, slowly…

      Thanks for reading ☺️

  4. I hope that once the lockdown is lifted, we will finally be able to invite people over to our home, now our daughter is mostly away on the weekends. Who knows, I might come to learn I like to some giving kind of service too 🙂 xox

    1. That’d be awesome!
      This dinner was very vanilla, but the undercurrents were tangible to everyone involved. That made it extra special in my view.

  5. I always find that doing things because I’m told to or they’re requested of me makes me feel more submissive and also makes the tasks more “fun”. Though fun isn’t really the correct word. Maybe I’m service oriented. Was your friend’s submissive male? For obvious reasons that is a curiosity for me!

  6. Coming from a customer service related background too in my youth I have always enjoyed pleasing people. I still ask interviewees their own definition of good customers service, and I can say that a few of them would make a terrible submissive; you on the other do appear to have found the enjoyment of it!

    1. Thank you ☺️
      To my husband’s horror, I do this everywhere. When we’re at Starbucks (pre-lockdown of course) and I see people struggling with the concept, I point them in the right direction. My husband hates this. He says: that’s not your job, let the employees fix it. But ah, to me it’s a small effort and it comes naturally ??‍♀️

  7. It’s interesting that you didn’t think you were a service submissive at all, and now here you are, or actually like you said it seems to sort of just be throughout your life, naturally and I don’t think it is anything to be ashamed of!

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