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Throughout my life, I have seen and lived through plenty of drama. I’ve seen people who almost relished and enjoyed it. I remember my colleague and me looking at how some of our coworkers behaved. These people knew how to generate drama, but at the same time, a lot of bad things happened to them too.
I have managed to remove many people who fell into this category from my life. What has been the role of ‘drama’ in my life? Did I learn anything of it? And how do I see my future after this lifetime of misery?
My childhood was filled with drama, as were my teenage years. I’ve been reading through my diaries that I kept religiously during those years, and, man, what a mess. Sure enough, events were happening that warranted the dramatic response, but a lot of stuff wasn’t. I mean, I know I was in love with a boy from my class, but to describe half a page every day (!) of where he was sitting in class that day or any tiny exchanges we may have had. Way over the top, Liz, no need for that at all.
I’ve learned to recognize drama. Some people close to me like to see it and whip it up. I’ve learned to take a step back, breathe, and try to keep a level head.
Does this always work? No, of course not. I’m pretty emotional and prone to panic attacks, so often enough, I do get swept away and let it overwhelm me.
My husband and I are very selective about who we allow into our lives. Potential friends with a high level of drama will not be allowed into our house. I’m not entirely sure if this is always a good decision because sometimes our life seems too flat and even, but we have little to no avoidable drama.
More Bad News than Good News
The last time I received harrowing news, I was pretty calm. The only upside of already having lived through a lot of drama, I was able to accept it realistically. All I could think was: ‘I have had more bad-news conversations in my life than good-news ones, so why would this surprise me?’ My husband always says: the upside of being a pessimist is that you’re always prepared for the worst. And, of course, I later did cry about the bad news I had gotten. It did knock me off my feet for a few days. I’m not unbreakable.
I feel like my soul is calloused. It’s not that I can’t be hurt or shocked.
No Preventable Drama
I’ve grown up in an abusive household. I lost both my parents before age thirty. I’ve been betrayed by close friends and lovers. I’ve been fired from jobs I depended on. I’ve lived through my fair share of drama. I choose to live with as little drama as possible. At the same time, I’m preparing myself for what’s to come: illness and loss of close ones, potential future loss of income and whatever else life still has in store for me. But until that day: no preventable drama, please.