Photo of a man choking a woman as illustration to 'Our Edge Play: Basic and Voluntary Asphyxiation' by Liz BlackX

My Dominant and I are not adventurous or daring. In general, we stay well within our limits. I feel you could make a case for all BDSM-play to be considered edge play. I know many vanilla people would shudder in disgust with how my husband treats me, where it makes me weak inside in the right way. And let’s be honest: who wants to be restrained purely for enhanced sexual pleasure? Yet when you bind my hands together, I swoon and I’ll follow your every command. But it’s not only bondage we engage in. And yes, some of what we do can be considered edgy.


I’m going to start with a bold statement: spankings are edge-play. Do you think that’s ridiculous? Everyone enjoys a light spank here and there during the heat of the moment. Yes, perhaps, but I’m talking about more intense spanking sessions here. The ones where I strip, position myself against the wall and wait for the whip to strike me. I do this willingly, and it turns me on immensely. I will count the number of hits I receive, and I will beg for more. I’ve had sessions where I received one hundred swats with the paddle. My ass and thighs are often bruised as a result. I wear these marks with a sense of pride. And no, my husband makes sure he never draws any blood, except for an accidental tiny trickle now and then. But I consider this quite edgy nonetheless.

Basic Asphyxiation

What’s probably more along with the standard definition of edge play, is breath play. My husband often places his hand over my nose and mouth to restrict my breathing. No matter how turned on I was before, when he does this, I melt away. My body shivers and I instantly get wet with desire. He has often put me over the edge while I was already close to orgasm. Funny fact is that I usually hold my breath while he put his hand over my face in this way. Even when he doesn’t obstruct my airway all the way, I do the rest myself.

No Choking

I do not like to be choked around the neck. My husband tries it now and then, but I find it to be too scary and dangerous. I know he has done his research, and I would never come to any harm, but I think it’s too extreme. I have never passed out from our breath play either.

Ultimate Submission

So why do I respond so well to breath play? I think it’s the display of power. My inner submissive squeals and submits to the strong man who is now even controlling my primal right to breathe. I give myself over and let this strong man use me.
The same mechanism applies to why I let myself be spanked. The Dominant man in my household decides I need to be put in my place, to be reminded of the position I hold. That’s why I willingly submit and subject myself to the pain he inflicts. My pain turns him on, which is all that matters in the end. A submissive’s mind can lead to strange conclusions.

No Blood or Fainting

No, our play does not involve drawing blood or having me lose consciousness. Yet I think our play would look extreme to vanilla eyes. Are these things I want to explore further? The spankings: yes. I’d love to find out what I can take. To have a bruised ass that will make sitting uncomfortable for a day or two.
The breath play? Not so much. I’m not sure extending that into me losing consciousness would be a good thing for me. Is the idea exciting? Of course, but there is such a thing as common sense preventing me from taking outrageous risks. And as long as his hand over my nose can make me cum, I’ll take that instead.



  1. An interesting take on spanking. I think many people would consider it almost vanilla nowadays. But then getting a few slaps with a brush or belt is quite different to standing upright and getting really caned. I know 😉

    1. Thank you ☺️
      It’s just something that passes through my mind while I’m standing there, naked and bound, thinking: why am I even doing this? What is wrong with me for enjoying this? But then I get the big orgasm afterward and all is forgotten ?

    1. Thanks ☺️
      My initial reaction to the prompt was: no, I don’t do blood, my play is not that edgy. All I had to do was tilt the perspective a little ?

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