We Don’t Do Public Play

The seat belt as part of our BDSM relationship.
Photo by Alexandria Gilliott on Unsplash

Once a friend asked my husband and me: ‘Do you guys do public play?’

‘No, no, no,’ we replied. ‘That’s not us.’
He continued: ‘I wish I had a partner with whom I could do play in public. You know, little things, like pulling hair while in the shop.’
‘Oh, we do that,’ we said.
‘Or whispering little things to each other, maybe giving each other one look that says it all.’
‘Oh, we do that too,’ we confessed.
‘Or things like grabbing her chin and turning her face, while out and about.’
‘Yeah, we do that too.’

It turned out we had plenty of what others concerned public play already implemented throughout our daily life. To us, these interactions are standard. That’s not play, that’s just who we are. But there are limits to what we do while out in public.

Bound by Seatbelt

We have always done the little things throughout our daily life. I remember one occasion specifically.
We have the rule that my Dominant fastens and unlocks my seatbelt in the car. It’s a small ritual that doesn’t attract much attention, and it’s only meaningful to us.

One time I had done something bratty. I don’t remember what I did, but I was pretty smug that I had gotten away with it. Until we arrived at the store.
My Dominant got out of the car and walked away. I just knew he had not forgotten to release my seatbelt. I also knew I could not free myself. My face flushed red. Passers-by wondered why I didn’t exit the car. I knew I had only myself to blame for this impromptu imprisonment.
A few minutes later, he returned and did unlock me. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but it must’ve been something along the lines of ‘Did you think I forgot what you said?’

My Skin Tingled

I was so impressed by being put in my place like this, that I genuinely glimmered. We went down an escalator, and I remember all the men on the escalator going up staring at me, wondering why they felt attracted to me, what it was that I was exhuming.
Sexual energy, that was what it was. Because I had been embarrassed, humiliated, put in my place, and given one of the most intense public play moments ever. So yeah, I was aroused beyond compare.

Maybe One Day

This is about the extent of our public play so far. In the past couple of months, we have been attending peer-rope events, but that’s more of a social gathering than a play event. Maybe one day we’ll go to play parties, but we don’t feel comfortable enough to do so yet. We’ll always continue with our little in-between moments, though. Or not so little, as the seatbelt incident showed.



  1. I think there are so many takes on public play and what it means for you is the important thing. The sort of experience you had with the seatbelt would definitely work on me too and I find that sort of thing really hot. Thank you for sharing ?

    1. Our understanding of public play was that it needed to be an intense scene involving bondage and whippings surrounded by by-standers. We didn’t think it could also involve the little things we do already.
      Thanks for reading ?


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