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This week’s prompt is right up my alley as a sex blogger. The prompt is to choose a song where people are having sex or talking about it. The song I chose immediately sprung to mind. Technically, it isn’t a song, but I think it’s the closest I could get to the prompt. It’s also the fewest lyrics I’ve ever used for this challenge, but hey, it fits the bill.

Total was an American R&B girl group in the nineties who were part of Bad Boy Records. They worked together with names like Puff Daddy, Missy Elliott, Timbaland and the Notorious BIG. The interlude is from their second and final album, self-titled ‘Kima, Keisha and Pam.’

The album wasn’t very well received critically:

‘In his review for Entertainment Weekly Matt Diehl wrote that “Total don’t get quite bad enough on their sophomore release, Kima, Keisha, and Pam. Despite all the heavy breathing, the diva trio’s pillow talk peters out. However, bed-board-bangin’ beats from Missy Elliott, Timbaland, Heavy D, and the Puff master himself turn this into a partial, if not total, bump-and-grind masterpiece.” [2] Allmusic editor Michael Gallucci found that “by inviting a who’s-who roster into the tub with them [Total] are barely heard. Brimming with the sounds of the world around it, Kima, Keisha & Pam is a studio-powered album that loses its individuality while trying desperately to be a part of the streets and scene. The best track, “Trippin’,” is an Elliott-produced slice of robotic R&B that combines the gals’ sweet harmonies with state-of-the-soul-art studio savvy. But an album’s worth of the sexy same unveils Total’s ultimate limitations.” [1]’,_Keisha,_and_Pam

However, when I was a teenager in the nineties, I loved this album. At that time, I mostly listened to R&B music. I don’t even know how we discovered this album, but I was enthralled by it. For my hormone-riddled self, this CD was about everything I didn’t have in my life and which I so desperately wanted to explore. I loved the brazenness of the lyrics, how they openly talked about sex. I think I just had my first boyfriend around this time, and I wanted to learn more about a life with intimacy. To me, these were grown women who had made it in life and sex was a big part of it. I wanted that too!

The masturbation interlude intrigued me immensely. I had no idea how to physically masturbate. I could only read stories online, and that would turn me on. For lack of a computer in my room upstairs, I began writing stories that had the same effect. It wasn’t until years later I discovered sex toys and how they could bring me to orgasm.

The fact that this woman is pleasuring herself while others are waiting makes it extra naughty in my mind. Still today, I don’t think I could do it with people so close by. I mean, I’ve had sex with my husband while his mother was in the next room. Having to be extra quiet does add a layer of excitement. I would never masturbate while someone is knocking on my door.

I also want to highlight another interlude from this album. I like this one because the man is clearly trying to seduce her, and she clearly states: not tonight. I loved this song for the same reasons as I liked the first one. It shows you what it can be like to have a full relationship with sex. My parents were divorced when I was young, and afterwards, I lived with my father. He had several girlfriends over the years, but I’ve never been taught how this would work. We didn’t talk about ‘these things.’ I loved getting a glimpse of how this worked for other people, even if they were R&B pop stars from the other side of the world.

Total Masturbation Interlude

(throughout song)
Ohhh uhhh
Ohhh ughhhh
Uhhhh ohhhhh
Yes ohhhh
(throughout song)
What the fuck
Are you doing in there
Let’s go the car is ready
What is fucken taken so long

There will be no #!*@ing tonight

Woman:… but my daughter’s asleep. I’m not trying to here her mouth tonight
Man: Just make some more time for me baby, just let me help
Kid: I want some ice-cream!
Woman: Now you woke her up
Man: Well can’t you put baby back to sleep?
Woman: You woke her up
Man: Come on baby just…
Kid: I want my little bumble with the bee uhh! I want that tape!
Man: Can’t you just bzzzt her back to sleep?
Woman: You the one who woke her up
Man: I’m sorry baby, just come here, just…
Kid: I want my Total CD!
Woman: Look what you did
Man: Can you please put her to sleep. What is she, a Bad Boy fan?
Kid: Are you trying to do it to my momma?

We’re not #!*@ing, no no #!*@ing
There will be no #!*@ing tonight
A lot of kissing, lot of hugging
There will be no #!*@ing me tonight
You get nothing I get nothing
I’m not bluffing, no no #!*@ing me tonight
‘Cause when we do it we might do it
But it won’t be no #!*@ing me tonight
Kid: Are you trying to do it to my momma?

I’ma gonna stand here watch you want it all night long
Then I’m gon’ tease you ’cause I know you wanna get in my draws
I’ll let you play with my kitty, you’ll play with yours all you want
Soon as you think you’re sliding in me I’m gonna cut you off, because…
Repeat Chorus

Lyrics from

Song Lyrics Sunday is a prompt by Jim Adams, other entries can be found here:


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