Vector of woman screaming as illustration to a text about Taboos.

Liz BlackX
Women in the Netherlands for anything close to sexuality

When I saw the subject of this prompt, I struggled with it for many days. Was I going to write about my own taboos? About the general ideas of taboos in sexuality? After reading the other entries for this prompt, I felt compelled to go a step further than how I usually write. Just my own limits and taboos weren’t going to cut it. So instead, I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to make a political statement. I never do this, because I try to be a sex-positive figure online, devoid of any nasty politics. But last week I gave my opinion online on a non-related issue, and that felt so good that I’m gonna do it again. My statement for this blog is:
Females in The Netherlands are returning female sexuality back to the realm of taboo.
So. I’ve said it.
But, Liz, how can you say such a thing? It’s 2019. Women can vote, can be gay, bisexual, transsexual, pansexual, asexual, Dominant, submissive. You name it, and it’s possible.
Well, on the other side of this is a whole new prudishness. Women don’t dare to go topless at all nowadays. And God-forbid, a marketing agency tries to make a fun advertisement which may be even the slightest objectifying of a woman’s body. And what I hate most of this transition, is that women are doing this to themselves.

Things are Better

Let me start by saying that overall, we’ve come a long way. Women are allowed to explore their sexuality in whatever way they want.
From talking with a Latina friend, this is not the case in all parts of the world. Especially in rural areas, coming out as gay is still frowned upon, or sheer impossible. Not everyone has a vibrator on their nightstand.
So yeah, even in 2019, the liberties we have in the Western world, are not shared by everyone. But I’m convinced we’re on the right track.
Here in Western Europe, sexuality, in general, is well-accepted. The pictures and videos girls share on Instagram, and YouTube leave little for the imagination.

Cauliflowers and Sex

Okay, so in general, people nowadays prefer to stay clad. Is that it? No. We’ve lost the ability to make fun of the female body.
It was only a few weeks ago that my country exploded over an advertisement for pizza. New York Pizza had made a commercial where the breasts of a sexy female were covered by cauliflowers, which is a hint to an older Dutch song where a comedian made the same reference. Twitter exploded and said that the advertisement was sexist and demeaning.

But why? I could not believe my eyes when I read these comments and comments by women at that. What is demeaning about a sexy woman with two cauliflowers in front of her breasts? I thought it was a funny reference and a fun way to promote a new product, which was the new cauliflower version of pizza dough. The model probably got paid enough money for the sexy shoot. Why are we upset about this? It’s a joke. It’s a funny gesture to an otherwise bland message. For my life, I could not grasp why ‘decent’ Holland got all worked up about a naked lady and some produce.

Lighten Up

So that’s why I say we’re working ourselves into a new taboo. Making a fun reference to the female body is not allowed anymore. My message is simple: Stop being offended. Take things for how they were intended. This commercial was a joke, a light-hearted way to bring a new product to people’s attention. It was not an insult. Just smile if you enjoyed it, or ignore it if you didn’t. The world is boring enough by itself, and this way we’re only making things more miserable. Cheer up! And maybe do bring produce into the bedroom for once and let your partner eat the cherries of your bare stomach. Perhaps that’ll make you more relaxed. But don’t banish the use of female sexuality.



  1. Well said!!!!

    I’m sick and tired of the you can’t show this or that anymore…

    I mean you got offended.. did the world end? No. Did everybody in the whole wide world agree with your point of view? No. Should you just learn to get a ruddy grip? YES!!!!! Why have people lost the art of scrolling past things they don’t want to see????

    Anyway, like I said, great post!!!

  2. Offence is taken, usually on behalf of some imaginary other. Prudish censorship was, and is, all about believing you’re protecting lesser beings who don’t have the intellect to understand.

    Okay, I’ve stepped off my soapbox now to say I do love your writing style. xx

    1. Thanks so much, that means a lot to me.
      And yes, I guess you’re right. They do mean to protect…ehm…other women who are lower on the moral ground field? I dunno. I just wished they wouldn’t.

  3. I am so with you on this – oh my goodness isn’t there enough shit in the world to get worried about than a sexy gal and two cauliflowers! Personally I feel “they” want women to get annoyed and focus on such stupid things as this so we don’t have enough energy left for what is really important in life. Thanks for this Liz! x

    1. I’m glad I read this. Although sometimes I do honestly feel worried about the way women can be (over) sexualized in media I agree with your general premise and especially the message Lighten Up. I’ve struggled for a while with the dichotomy of on one hand believing there ARE serious things to consider about how we’re representing women … and on the other hand the body is fun, funny, delightful in so many ways and we shouldn’t have to be sour and serious all the time. It definitely is a kind of societal regression to make the body more taboo again and that’s not good, it can be shaming and it can imply there is something wrong or bad about the human body which there is NOT. Great post!

      1. I agree that women are often over-sexualized in media. You don’t need a half-naked lady on every car you’re trying to sell, but this particular commercial wasn’t like that. It was meant to be light-hearted and fun, and I thought they did a good job. It were only my fellow women who disagreed. It felt like a reflex reaction: this has to do with sex, so therefore it must be evil. Just relax…

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