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Being as Flirty and Sassy as Elvira

‘I never do this kind of thing,’ Penelope typed in the dating app.

Lol,’ was the reply which followed a few seconds later.

Penelope had matched with a guy named Wallace and was now chatting with him.

‘No, really. I know it sounds like a cliche, but it’s true.’

Use it to your advantage.

Penelope frowned. What could this mystery guy mean by that?
She replied with only a question mark.

I mean it. It’s the internet. You can be who you want to be. What is a trait you have always wished you had?

What a weird question. It was intriguing, but still odd.

‘I sometimes wish I was flirty and funny.’

Ok. So be flirty and funny.

‘It’s not that easy,’ she smirked.

It can be. Don’t overthink it.’

Penelope shook her head. How could this stranger know this much about her? But the thought intrigued her. Could she really be just as flirty as Elvira, her friend she’d known since high school? She’s always admired her sass.

Her phone buzzed with a new message from her match.

Let’s start over. Hi, how are you?

Penelope’s mind raced. What would Elvira say?
‘Better now that I’m talking to you.’

Is that so?

‘You are a ray of sunshine in my life.’

ROFL‘ Wallace immediately typed in return. ‘More.’

Penelope tapped her finger to her lips. Hmm, what would she say next?
‘I didn’t know what I was missing until I saw your picture.’

You’re doing good. Keep going.’

Penelope grinned. The following line was way out of her comfort zone. Could she really do this? Ah, whatever, let’s try.
‘My pussy clenched at the thought of you taking me hard.’

The chat went silent. No ‘Wallace is typing’ notifications yet.
Her heart raced when it did appear.

Perfect! I would love to see that pussy. What else?

‘I’m pinching my nipples, pretending it’s you.’

Mmm, I wish it were me. I would love to massage your big globes.’

‘They’re not that big.’ Penelope hit send before she realised her mistake.

It’s a fantasy. Just keep going. Are you on top?

She had no idea why she still had this stupid smile on her face and why her pussy was clenching, but now for real. It was only a chat. Why was she getting hot?
‘Oh yeah, I’m on top. You know I like it that way. I bend forward, and we kiss deeply.’

Hmm, I love the taste of your lips. And your breasts feel amazing. Can I see them?

A wave of panic went over Penelope. Was he asking her for a picture? No, he probably wasn’t. This was just a fantasy.
‘Don’t ask, ravish me,’ she replied with renewed vigour.

Ok. I lift you up, walk you to the bed and lay you down. I rip your blouse and bra to shreds.

A blush went over her cheeks. Wow.
‘Take me,’ she merely typed.

I squeeze your boobs. Do you like that?

‘Oh, yes.’

I pull up your skirt and rip away your panties. Your pussy is the prettiest I have ever seen.

‘I want your dick.’ Penelope giggled. She would never say such a thing.

Good. I undress myself and show you. Do you like it?

‘The best I’ve ever seen.’

I know.

Penelope laughed out loud. There really was something to fantasising like this together.

‘So fuck me,’ she replied.

I see how much you crave me, so I spread your pussy and plunge in.


Thrust, prod, poke. You know what I mean.

‘Just fuck me.’ Penelope’s breathing quickened at the fantasy.

I turn us around. You are on top. You fuck me.

‘I spread my pussy and lower myself around your dick.’ She smiled at her imagined boldness. She would never have done this for real.

Mmm, you’re so tight. Do you like it?

‘You’re the best I ever had,’ she replied while licking her lips.

ROFL. So are you.

‘I bounce up and down. Your big dick fits me perfectly.’ Penelope was getting the hang of this.

I love your movements, how your tits bounce.

‘I rub my clit. Do you feel my pussy clench?’ She noticed her pussy was getting wet for real too.

Oh, yes, it feels delicious. I’m getting close.


Hey, I’m not Superman.

Penelope smiled. ‘I fuck you harder and harder. That ok?’

Just a little more.

‘I clench my cunt to make it more intense.’

Oh, fuck, I’m cumming.

‘I squeeze my pussy hard to milk you.’

The chat went silent.
What happened? Was the connection lost at this exact moment?
Penelope touched her cheek. It was blazing hot.
Her belly tingled excitedly when the ‘Wallace is typing’ notification once again appeared.

Damn, girl. Thank you,’ was his reply.

‘For what?’

I had a mess to clean up.

Penelope shyly looked down. Had she truly made this stranger cum? Why did that feel so wrong and so good at the same time?
‘Do you mind?’ she asked.

Oh, no.‘ The response was immediate. ‘Did you touch yourself?

Penelope shook her head. ‘No.’

Next time, you should.

‘Next time?’ She repeated.

Oh, sorry, I assumed we would do it again.

‘Sounds great.’

Talk to you soon then. One more thing…

She waited, but apparently, he was waiting for her to say something.

I like you flirty. Don’t hold back.

Penelope closed the chat. What had she just done? Did she just have virtual sex with a stranger? It felt exquisite. Maybe it was time for her to touch herself like her partner had done. Being as flirty and sassy as Elvira definitely had its perks.

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  1. Liz that was a great short story and caught exactly the essence of e-flirting. What one person saw as an experiment the other used for their immediate satisfaction.
    That was a fun reminder of days gone by. Thanks!

  2. Nicely told Liz – it’s true we can put across a different persona if we want – virtually – but I tend to think it is probably all part of that person – just buried a bit until a situation brings it to the surace
    May xx

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