‘You are exactly where you are supposed to be.’
This is a line from one of the meditations I listen to via the Insight Timer app. Hearing this calms me down every time.
My situation is all right, I am okay, there is no need to change. My ever-worrying mind calms down when I take in this message.
Yes, I believe in fate. I think things happen to us so we can learn and grow from them, even the horrible stuff. I know it’s not an easy message., and I wouldn’t have believed you in my darkest hours. But right now, I’m convinced I’m as strong as I am because of everything I went through.
My Mother’s Lessons
My mother was an intelligent woman with a sharp mind. She was not one to blindly follow instructions or believe everything on the news. I was thinking about this the other day when I was in discussion with my husband. He is critical of everything, most of all about politics and the government. I’m quite naive, and for the longest time, I was convinced the government had the people’s best intentions at heart. I’m not so sure now.
While considering my stance, and wondering where I would have been without my husband, my mother’s opinions came back to me. She had a broad medical knowledge. I’m convinced she would have had her own mind about the Covid-19 situation and how things are handled by the people in charge. I probably would have scoffed at her, but she did instil the need in me to think for myself and never blindly follow others. This was a valuable lesson I have learned.
Don’t Trust People
Because of my life, I know how untrustworthy and mean people can be. I’ve been hurt numerous times, both by friends and by other people around me. My time working in retail taught me many people are selfish and often have bad intentions. The downside is that I have trouble trusting people. Are you holding the door open for me as a purely friendly gesture, or are you out to rob me?
The upside is that I’m somewhat less prone to be scammed or robbed. No, not invincible, but at least I’m aware of the possibility. It’s my first instinct to scan someone’s kind gesture for possible harm and foul play.
So is it all bad? No, not really. I’m just very cautious who I let into my life. I’m in the process of making new friends and exposing myself to the world. I don’t rush things, but take little steps in every way. The upside is that the friends I’m making are good people. I’m starting to trust them. In many ways, they’re like me. We hold the same political views. They don’t take unnecessary risks. We respect each other for the way we are, differences and quirks and all.
Battered, Bruised, and Contused
I believe fate has led me here for a reason. I may be battered, bruised and contused, but I’m here. I’m stronger for it. My mother has brought me up to be an intelligent woman who makes her own decisions. I don’t follow others blindly. I’m wary of strangers, especially strangers who pretend to offer you the world. I don’t like people who pretend.
Friendships build over time. They don’t pop up instantly. If you have shown your trustworthiness, I may allow you inside my heart. But don’t think about abusing my trust, because that door will get shut again, without a second thought. This is where fate has brought me so far. And it’s right where I need to be.