Fall has Arrived
It’s November. The clock has already been changed to wintertime. The weather is gloomy and wet. The leaves on the trees have turned yellow and are starting to fall. There’s no denying that the seasons have changed. Bright summer has made place for dark autumn.
Many people love this season. They enjoy the colours, the smell, even the rain.
For me, it’s twofold. I’m glad summer is over, with everyone outside, the hot air and the fake happiness that seems to be expected during these months.
But every year when the leaves start to fall down marks the beginning of a sad time for me. Birth- and death dates of many of my relatives fall from October to January. The holidays are nearing that I, once again, have to celebrate without them.
The month of January thereafter, where, once again, real-life wipes away the Christmas decorations. Back to regular life.
This year I’ve made a plan for the next three months. Last year depression hit me hard, so I’m trying to prevent that this year. First stop: November.
NaNoWriMo. Last year was the first year I joined this competition. For those who are unfamiliar with the concept: people from around the world decide to write a novel of 50,000 words in one month. That means you have to write 1667 words per day. Your project is your own. You don’t have to let anyone read it. In fact, it’s better if you don’t, since it’s easier to write without critics.
The fun of NaNo is doing it together. There are Discord servers with word sprints, where you decide on a set amount of time to write together. There are word sprints on Twitter that I particularly love because you know there are people writing with you. And there are real-life write-ins, where people come together in a bar or restaurant to, you guessed it, write together.
Last year I chose to write a reverse-harem romance. I was hesitant to join a new group of people and tell them I write erotica. Unfortunately, the stigma against people with an open mind around eroticism exists everywhere, also here in the Netherlands.
What actually happened is that after four days of writing, my tame romance novel already contained several hot sex scenes. And as the month progressed, more and more of these scenes followed, and the plot was abandoned. I made it to 50,000 words, but the book was a mess of stitched-together sex scenes that could not be reworked into anything remotely sensible.
But: I was not depressed in November. I was stressed out of my mind because of the writing, but my stress was focused on that one project.
So this year I’m gonna do that again. My set-up is erotic fiction this time, and I hope my framework allows for enough random sex scenes, but with some plot running through it. It’s going to be a challenge, but at least it’ll keep my depression at bay.
I don’t have such a plan for December. I hope to attend a munch in the BDSM-community that I joined, and maybe go and have some drinks with my BDSM-friends.
I dread the month of December in all honesty because I’m gonna miss the togetherness I feel during NaNoWriMo. While the whole world around me becomes more and more festive building up to the days of Christmas, I feel darker and darker.
I plan to continue blogging, if only to spout my gall into the interwebs.
In January I’m going to start planning my vegetable garden. Maybe I can even begin to plants some seeds and watch them come up. Those first green sproutings always mean the world to me. Life will once again blossom.
I also hope there’ll be a peer rope I can attend.
As a back-up plan, if all else fails, I’m going to fall in love with a rock star. Can you decide to do that? Probably not, but I can try. Just watch videos of their performances and let my imagination roam free about how I would spend the night with them.
Nothing Lasts Forever
And yes, of course, I need to continue to eat healthily, drink enough water and go for daily walks. I need to remember to keep my sexiness alive, both in fiction writing and in real-life activities.
All of this is easier said than done. But you know what? It will become February again. After winter will come spring.