Four Steps of Getting Things Back

Two people holding hands 

Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash
Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash

These past few weeks, I’ve not been well. I’m trying out a new diet in an attempt to lose some weight, but I’m struggling to find the right balance. It proves to be difficult to still get all nutrients and vitamins when forgoing all carbs. 

Of course, next to me not feeling great, this affects many parts of my life. One of these is the relationship with my husband. While I’m not feeling great, I don’t dare to do any bondage or spankings. I’m definitely not in the mood. We haven’t even done a birthday spanking for me, earlier this month. 

State of the World

My diet isn’t the only thing affecting me, unfortunately. The state of the world is pressing down on me as well. I try to read less news, but it’s like a bad addiction. I keep scrolling through news sites, or when I try to get away from those, I’ll scroll through Twitter and Reddit which aren’t much better. And when I force myself to refrain from empty scrolling, I open my book which is about, you guessed it, the current political situation in the Netherlands. And while on YouTube, I also manage to find the most political videos out there. *sigh*

Domestic Discipline

So what’s my plan on getting out of this rut? I long to get my D/s back and even get back to our form of Domestic Discipline. I long to get my butt spanked again. What do I consider to be the best way to deal with stress in a Domestic Discipline household?

Four Basic Steps

  1. First of all: Don’t force it! In my opinion, spankings are a delicate business. Done wrong or in a bad mindset, it’s easy to break things. You’re bound to make things worse instead of better. Don’t put all focus on this one aspect of your life. 

2. Fix the parts that you can fix. In my example, read less news. Relax. What helps for me is to play video games. I’ve played a lot of Animal Crossing these past weeks since it’s a sweet game with no political connotations. At least it took my mind off worrying. 

3. Submit where you can. My husband and I live in a 24/7 D/s. This means I have many other opportunities to submit to him when the physical side just doesn’t work. I serve my husband his coffee and tea throughout the day. I make his food, and overall support him where I can. 

4. Try it again. Communicate well and discuss your limits. For me, seeing the paddle and cane scare me when not entirely in the mood. So what about a simple over the knee spanking? I know for us, these tend to be more intimate than a distant flogging or paddling. But talk about it with your partner and maybe set a shorter time period than your regular hour-long spankings.


I don’t think it’s hopeless and our Domestic Discipline will never return. It’s just a phase we’re going through, and I’m confident it will come back. I also think it’s important to listen to my body and mind and not force things. 

Communication is key here. Don’t shut yourself off and worry about these things on your own. Continue to talk about it, relax where you can and start building things back up once you’re ready. It will be fine in the end.


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