To my surprise, I have never written about my introvert personality. I think many of you will have guessed it by now. I’m a textbook introvert. I love being alone. I dislike crowds and groups of people. But in what areas does this play out in my daily life? Am I really always isolated and solitary?
I Dislike Groups
Being in a group of people is chaotic, challenging and draining. It costs a lot of energy to keep up my guard and to read social cues. What do these people think of me? Could they be threatening me in any way?
I have to be careful what I say. Isn’t my humour too dark or blunt? Am I revealing too much of my sexuality? Long story short, I’m never relaxed when in a group of people.
Being alone recharges my battery. I can literally feel my energy being recharged when I’m alone after spending a lot of time in a group. This even counts for when I have been around family. I enjoy their company, but I do need time alone afterwards to recuperate.
I think this is why I like sex toys and sex dolls so much. I don’t need my shields or protection. They don’t judge, nor do they condemn. I am free to be me and to do with what I want. Just like the one time I had sex with a sex doll. The only one feeling awkward was me. The plastic doll didn’t care, no matter what I read into her blank stare.
Vibrators are tools for me to use. They’re perfect for anyone who’s uncomfortable with being around people. They buzz and bring pleasure, without judgement, just like a sex doll.
You might think I sit in my room by myself all day long and can float on happiness and bliss. Nope.
As much as I struggle with it, I need people around me. Humans are social creatures, after all.
I live with my husband, which is good for us both. My four cats are constantly intruding on my personal time and space, and this is also beneficial. Next to this, I also need the company of friends and family. Being together with another person and interacting and laughing together brings the unique energy I need. A particular part of me lights up when that happens.
Despite being a convinced introvert, I love being on stage. I’ve done a lot of theatre productions in the past, and I absolutely love the attention. Making a production together can be highly satisfying. Afterwards, I need time alone to recharge, but overall, I love the experience.
The computer games I like best are Massively Multiplayer Online games designed to play together. I like that aspect of any video game best. When we do a raid, we all have to use our class’ abilities to kill the monster. It feels good to be part of such a group and add my contribution.
Another online group I’m proud to be a part of is the Medium magazine ‘Tantalizing Tales.’ This initiative by May More brings you the hottest and sexiest stories every day of the week by several top writers, myself included. It’s definitely worth checking out!
Erotic Fiction Deluxe
To serve the community, which has brought me a lot, I’m now the host of two memes: Erotic Fiction Deluxe and The Oral Sex Project. It’s fun to read all the submissions and promote them further via Twitter. It was a big step for an introvert like me to set this up, but I like growing the community and making it bigger and better than it was before.
Introvert, but Social
Yes, I’m an introvert, but I do need people around me—Family, friends, online, and real life. I can’t wait for Covid to be over so I can see my friends again. Difficult as it may be for me, I want to go to festivals and rock concerts again and be part of the crowd. All of this is energy-consuming, but I’ll make sure to replenish it by spending time alone afterwards. Spending all my time alone is not an option.